Here goes nothing.. Wait that sounds negative.. Here goes everything.. Wait that sounds Dramatic.. Here it goes.. yea that sounds better.. Bear with me people, this is my first blog & I don't know much about this whole blogging thing. Were all different & there's no better way for me to learn then jumping right in! So.. Here it goes finally!
I guess it would help you understand where I'm coming from if you knew a little about me. I've been in this awesome world for 31 eventful years. I am the oldest of 5 insanely loving, loyal, intelligent & gorgeous children. From birth I've been blessed with a awesome amazingly strong woman & she's the best mom I could ever have. The 6 of us were fortunate enough to have been exposed to experiences & shenanigans of all sorts while Dad was in our lives. Although his time with us wasn't long, the time we spent with him created everlasting effects. May God bless his soul. We lived in Los Angeles till I was 14 then moved to Riverside & I've been here ever since. I guess you can say I grew up fast, I got pregnant at 17 & had 3 kids by 22. I whole heartedly & honestly have to say It really is truly rewarding to have kids like mine. I could not have asked God to bless me in any better way then with the 2 beautiful girls & an amazing son he gave me. They're awesome! They totally are my whole world & I love them way more then words can describe. I was very fortunate to be a stay at home for many years but I've been separated from their dad for almost 3 years now & had to join the working world. Over the last 4 years I've taught pre-school, sorted at UPS, Managed a promotions team in downtown Los Angeles, worked in construction field & had a Receptionist job. I recently became unemployed & I'm soaking up every single moment I can while I have it. I'm told mindful living is the key to experiencing inner peace & it's getting easier with practice.
I don't know about you guys but my mind way over thinks things. This causes me so much stress and wasted time & energy. I mean just look at the beginning of this blog. Why do I do these things to myself? Honestly, I think its because I care so much about what others think of me. I crave acceptance. Its a defect in my character. One of them, that is. There's a few more... Who doesn't want to be accepted anyways? We all do! Right? Well, I'd like to think its normal to want to be accepted. Either way I cant let it run my life. No biggie! Sounds easy right? Its not as easy as it sounds but it truly is one of the doors I can choose to open for a life filled with ultimate abundance & joy. We basically spend our whole lives trying to impress someone. From the time we're babies we look for acceptance from others. We strive to impress our parents, teachers, friends, the opposite sex, our boss, kids, pets, neighbors, coworkers, strangers, enemies & the list goes on. My point is we try to impress A LOT of people & thats a lot of unnecessary work! My question is, how often do we try to impress ourselves? Not often enough in my case. Although now I do realize the importance of this so I do practice it daily. We all know right from wrong, up from down, left from right, good from bad, ying from yang. You get the picture. Is that what that weird feeling we get in our gut for? Intuition.. huh, what a great gift! If we put ourselves first, make the right choices & look within will we find acceptance? Isn't accepting ourselves the only acceptance that's important? If we accept ourselves wouldn't others accept us too? So many questions & everyone has the answers. Where do we find the right answers?
A wise man just said to me, "Aileen! What other people think of you is NOT your business! I think your Amazing & I can't wait for you to BELIEVE that!" Another wise one has been telling me for something similar to that for years now & in his own way, God has been telling me that my whole life. I have to look within & really listen to get my answers.
Along my journey to personal empowerment I've made a few agreements with myself. One of them is, "Dont take anything personally!" Stop for a minute and think about what that statement means & think of how great you will feel when you truly DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY! Can there be anything more freeing? I've discovered that if you create good habits & routinely do them it becomes a practice. Everyday I practice not taking things personally, good or bad, I try to not let anything that happens effect me emotionally. It's simple right! For some maybe, but for me, not so much. With practice though, it's definitely getting easier!
Now just like with anything else, the good comes along with the bad & the positive words I receive come right along with negative criticism I hear. There's a lot of negative people in this world. Im sure you know a few. There everywhere. Most of them are easy to spot & misery is usually written all over their faces. However some are sneaky little suckers & those are the worst ones in my opinion because you never know when they might strike. Regardless of how, where or when negative energy invades life, my point is it does and its always going to. It's all apart of life & its going to happen. All that matters is the way we handle it. The way I deal with negativity determines the amount of positivity I am going to have in my life.
I know what makes me happy & I also know what makes me unhappy. I create my life. All of it! The good, the bad & the ugly. It's all up to me. You get what you put out. Treat others the way you want to be treated. It's simple right? Might not be easy for you, but that one thankfully, is easy for me. Kindness! It comes naturally to me and that my friends would be called a character trait. There's that good & bad thing again. One of my defects is I crave acceptance but my one traits is I can accept anyone as they are. Go figure!
When I wake up in the morning I pray, write, meditate or simply think of everything I'm gratefully blessed with. By doing some or even just one of these things I am choosing to start my day on the right path. Now by no means am I perfect & either is my life. Sometimes life happens & i simply just cant at that moment & sometimes I honestly just forget right after I wake up and thats okay too. I do it when I can or when I rember & with daily practice I get better & better.
Everyday is a new beginning & every night we have the ability to & should take the time to enjoy the masterpiece we've created. It's so easy for me to get caught up in my next thought. All of the sudden my day is gone & all i've done was think about what I have to get done or where I have to go. This happened day in & out for years. Let me tell you, its no way to live. Now, I am in control of my thoughts & I take the time to enjoy all that I have created. I grew up fast to say the least but I believe everything happens for a reason & I don't regret one moment of my life so far. I have experienced so much & am completely excited to share my stories in hope that it will help others on their journey through life. It's been a wild ride but the bumps got me here & I wouldn't change a thing. Find what works for you & work it! Don't sweat the small stuff! Life's a garden, Man! Pick the weeds out & Dig it!!
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